now i know why i became what i already was.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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