Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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