R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
