Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
