i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
