If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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