The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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