peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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