He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
