She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
