I love black thongs
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
