I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
