Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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