why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We had to coat check the pizza.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
