Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
