We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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