i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
