Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Those nachos came to me in a dream
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
