Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
even my farts smell like vagina
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
