your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
