Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
