Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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