Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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