I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
