Swine flu. Run for my life!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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