Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
