whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
