oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize