I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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