gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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