Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
