Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
