no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
