so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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