Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
