sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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