If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
