This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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