He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
