Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
try to milk me bitch
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