all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
