Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
