Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i would punch a child for taco bell
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Then you guys just all showered together...?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
