He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
