your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
