Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
