come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
