I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
