He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She even gives head with a lisp.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I will pee on everything he values.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
