He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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