last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
